#im stressed to FUCK man

[bedforddanes75]

hello who wants filth. maybe nobody but its here anyway. IM SCARED

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

you know those tiktokers and vloggers who go around with mics on the street?

[dansemacabre]

i’ve been thinking about “sixer, it would eat you alive” since i read it and. man. every layer you peel back makes it worse. im not a bill apologist but. shit

if you (1) take it at face value, it paints bill as an apologetic murderer in his single (and maybe sole) open moment of regret. he doesn’t let his walls down often- only with ford do we even get to see the remnant of his galaxy, see the “actual remorse” ford describes, get just a hint of his origins. but he does it, because he thinks ford should know.

if you (2) take it from ford’s point of view, as something he committed to journal three, like. wow. imagine being so committed to a being that you’d hunt down and kill the monster that destroyed his home, only to (assumably) figure out later that that being was the monster. the small moments of trust, the “good times”, are so key to manipulation. how long did ford hold onto that one shred of vulnerability? no wonder ford stayed for as long as he did. in his eyes, bill was a survivor. ford wanted to survive too.

(slight tw below for unreality- any time i mention our reality, i mean “our reality” as a narrative device used in the book of bill as a proxy for the idea of bill being in our reality, since he can’t actually be in our reality. all of this is a fictional theory about a show/book with fictional contents!)

but if you (3) remember that “even his lies are lies” and absolutely Nothing bill says should be trusted. Whoo boy. if i read tbob right the book itself is being created in the theraprism (even tho it shows up with the ciphertologists at some point? idk that’s a whole other post). it’s meant to show what the reader wants to see; it manifests in our reality as what the collective fandom wants to see. so if we want to see truth, if we want to see where bill ended up and who he actually is, there’s a non-zero chance that the whole interaction was a complete fabrication.

imagine bill, stuck in the actively harmful, probably earth-illegal theraprism, once again being forced to be “fixed” and molded into something more palatable, being forced to conform no matter how much it hurts. (i know natural uncontrollable mutation ≠ just so much murder and destruction and chaos, but. you can’t ignore the similarities. bill has obviously been thinking about those silly straws.)

he looks back on everything that went wrong, back on his relationship with ford, back through every dimension where he wins. would that one moment, that one truth amid centuries of lies, have saved him from purgatory? if he had just been open? shown his damage? maybe he did think of his parents, or his henchmaniacs (especially the oracle). people who he might have once opened up to. maybe he just wanted to open up to someone again.

so in his own weird way, stuck in a cell, he reshaped reality again. in this reality, for this fleeting moment, he had been someone worth believing. and ford had listened, hell, ford had wanted to help. looking back, knowing how he treated ford, knowing how ford ended up because of it, maybe bill would have said the most honest thing he’d ever told ford: i am the monster, i am not worth your time or belief, and i will eat you alive.

[periwinkle-the-11th]

ngl as a chronic-pain-haver who regularly sorrows over the lack of chronic-pain-comfort-fics, getting into jayvik is doing great things for me.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[spoiledmilks]

He

[thefallenangelsgang]

Do you know how embarrassing it is when the blorbos from your shows are a group of people from your DnD campaign?

I can't stop thinking about these people that exist only in me and a handful of other peoples' minds who are going through a story we are telling together THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER HEARD OF BECAUSE IT IS AN EXPERIENCE SHARED ONLY BETWEEN US

*gripping my head* THE VOICES-

[puppppppppy]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[bee623]

I genuinely cannot describe how deeply DEVASTATED I am about riz being the only one who can take stress tokens for the others. Yes fig is a protector and will fight endlessly for her friends and I love that about her but there is something about the way riz loves his friends. It’s a more subtle kind of love, but just as relentless and passionate and he will take any burden for the people he cares about and bear the weight of it on his shoulders so they don’t have to deal with it without any hesitation. I am ILL.

[dukeofthomas]

"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

[iwanttobepersephone]

So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?

Things I need to do:

Finish reading icebound land

Make a whole lotta art that I promised people

Research study abroad programs

At least one Dutch lesson a day

Keep my room clean

Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)

My math homework

Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane

Eat at 7pm

Various things I enjoy as to not go insane

All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00

So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks

But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup

[randomslinky-is-jailed]

okay i’m gonna go throw up

[eikichi-supremacy]

can i step on the soap box for a second or wtv just hear me out .. the thing about kuwabara is like.

he looks to yusuke like pretty much nobody else. yusuke's a unique protagonist in that he's well. shitty!! he's shitty and if you asked anyone pre-series they'd call him no good or a loser. If people weren't hating on him they were scared of him. There were a few exceptions to this like his mom, Keiko, and takenaka ofc. But kuwabara is the most interesting to me because he hasn't known yusuke as long as the first two and doesn't have that sense of duty to a student a teacher would. he is unique because he saw yusuke, someone feared and despised and saw something worth working towards

There's no sense of responsibility over him no long established relationship but. Begrudging respect. Awe. He put yusuke of all people on a pedestal and I don't think anyone else had done that. Saw yusuke as a worthy goal. Kuwabara was the first to see worth there in that sense. Obviously there were other people but Kuwabara was only privy to some of the shittiest parts of yusuke and still somehow came out thinking he's fucking great

Idk it's dumb like obviously yeah kuwabara's whole thing is that he elevates yusuke in his mind vs pretty much everyone else just seeing him as a shit stain but

Thinking about how this affects yusuke and his actions. Kuwabara isn't Keiko or Atsuko his attention and concern and care can't be explained away by "I've known you forever" because he hasn't yet. Kuwabara isn't sticking around for a yusuke that used to be kinder or wtv he's here for the yusuke that broke his ribs with a grin on his face.

And then ofc he realizes "kuwabara is good" during chapter 7. And if kuwabara is good and he sees me as someone worthwhile then that must mean he thinks...I'm good. What do you do with that when you've been told you're bad not just by everyone around you but by the prince of the underworld. The spirit world apparently sees how everyone's lives pan out and they couldn't fathom yusuke trying to save a child but I feel like kuwabara wouldn't have been surprised in the least. Because yusuke is a good guy

And it's crazy to me because how did he know. What did he see during those 156 fights with yusuke that made him chase after him that made him see worth when everyone else saw nothing. What made him cry and grieve and say you're supposed to be here for me. It couldn't have just been strength that made him do all that. He saw smth even spirit world wasn't prepared for and he didn't have years of knowing yusuke for him to see it he just knew.

But yeah back to yusuke the way that must've made him crazy all you ever did was beat this mf up! You barely remembered his name some days you didn't know anything about him because all you did was lay him flat but here he is crying over you angry that you left him behind. All that admiration how does one who hates themself cope bro.

Yusuke realizing who kuwabara is as a person when he was a ghost is just so. It's crazy cos he's seeing in real time that kuwabara isn't some jackass who only cares about fighting there are worthwhile qualities there admirable qualities a kindness that yusuke never bothered looking for. And yet. For some reason this guy is tagging along with you following your lead. He becomes friends with you like that's a thing someone like kuwabara should want. And it doesn't go away in fact it seems to get bigger the more time you spend together. God. me when I can't see the good in me but I know you're good and you can

Tldr; one of the most compelling aspects to the kuwameshi dynamic (ship or not) to me is that kuwabara is this noble, honorable guy and the coolest person in the world to him is the local menace and loser yusuke

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Parc Ferme - Fernando Alonso

[bertrei]

The bertholdt hoover fandom is dying rt if youd wipe the sweat from his brow like if youd give him a warm glass of milk

[incorrect-futbol-quotes]

Pedri: Gavi is a perfect cinnamon roll who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!

Robert: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!